peligrin @pexl@beach.city

Here we gooooo!

I’m Pel, and I’m a trans, genderless, soft-hearted geek in Texas. I’m bisexual, VERYromantic, 24, and polyamorous. I represent myself online as a fluffy white ferret.

I write UI code for a living. I love to draw cartoon animals and to discuss furries and fandom in a meta way. I own ~30 tamagotchis. I am passionate about robots and virtual pets of many kinds, including neopets and pokemon!

Talks about relationships, lewd, mental health, gender, weed, and alcohol.

I just wanna say I’m full of love

Love to *perch*

I don’t mean like, battle tiers, I mean Pokémon that should have more fan art and merch

why don't things lift you while you're up the way they so violently kick you while you're down?? fuck you universe

I'm having a really bad time right now, really really bad, but it's only this bad because it was too many days in a row of kind-of-bad. if i'd just been allowed maybe 2 or 3 consecutive days without any really sharp stabby reminders of the things I hate about myself the most, maybe i'd only feel kind of bad right now but instead i am hashtag suffering for what externally seems like almost no reason

Real tired of all these human affairs like “gender” and “skin care”. “Middle names”. “Body odor”. “MEETINGS”. I got chewed out last week for showing up to a meeting I didn’t even need to be at a couple minutes late. Please set my crate down gingerly and open it from behind so I can run away into the chilly morning

i really... LIKED all those girls too. they were really nice. They lead interesting lives, and I would have wanted to spend more time with every one of them. :'( Makes it so much worse, how they failed me, because I don't even get to indulge in bitterness.

the group of mostly trans people, I was the only trans masc person and the only nonbinary person. i told them they could use they or he pronouns on both me and my character but i don't think any of them did it right even once. none of them had any issues with each other's characters of course. even in deep fantasy among people I was supposed to be able to trust, i couldn't avoid being misgendered. it was humiliating for everyone.

I love D&D in theory but every attempt to play it has gone badly. I've started 3 different campaigns. in all 3 I never really settled into my character. I constantly felt uncomfortable and put on the spot in game, and like the other players were frustrated with how I was failing to immerse myself. In 2/3 my character was constantly misgendered with pronouns even I don't use - even when the group was 75% trans people! that was so disappointing it ruined it for me.

The temperature dropped 40 degrees last night. Haha! What the fuck!

sudden realization that my mousepad is both sideways and really far from where I sit, and I've just been reaching across the desk and using it like this anyways for like. probably weeks.

Me: *thinks about a good friend almost every day, misses them and wonders what they’re up to, hopes they’re still friends*
That Friend: “Hey what’s up! I really miss talking to you!”
Me: 😶

I want to get teased about being "musky" in a way that fails to conceal that the bully is attracted to my smell

tingles-up-my-stomach feeling imagining that I'm waking up and just transforming more and more into a dream boat every day

new difference: i smell weird, and I find myself feeling slightly embarrassed about my smell pretty often, and that slight embarrassment kinda turns me on

By FOLIELOADED on twitter! http://twitter.com/FOLIELOADED/

Sometimes I forget that depersonalization isn’t a thing everyone goes through all the time. It’s happened to me for so long, so persistently, I forget it isn’t what everyone is experiencing. I forget it’s even worth mentioning. Maybe I should mention it? Hi, I became unplugged when I was about 15 and what you see here is what I’ve assembled over a decade of what kind of feels stumbling around in the dark when the power goes out

Sometimes I just wanna be Seen. Wish I had something to say so someone would acknowledge it and recognize I exist. Feel so restless and namelessly needy :(

*switching around between social media platforms, trying to figure out which form of validation will make me feel like a real person*

Haven’t had a costume for Halloween since I got dysphoria pretty much. I can never think of something that sounds appealing enough to me to be worth the effort and stress. I wish I could just let somebody else dress me up

FINALLY cooled off a little bit yesterday, feels so nice and comfortable outside. I think this is going to be a really good autumn.