Janine Sataria 🌺 @flaplette@beach.city

so.. I don't know if this is permanent but:

I'm plural, and Dawnrose is actually a headmate. we had a long talk on the drive to Rochester a few days ago.

we think she formed partly from the stress of this year. shi's basically me, but lower-energy, less anxious, and more assertive, and is more likely to be in front when I'm high.

we're median, and I'm still "me", just there may be face and tone switches and the occasional "we" now

when applicable,
🦇 or 🌺 = Janine
🐈 or 🌹 = Dawnrose

💜🧡

I'm not sure when it changed, but I don't really care for forceful mind control/hypno or consensual nonconsent in such things, it feels.. boring, now.

would much rather be prodded and pushed in just the right places that make me -want- to give in. I don't like fighting or struggling and am bad at it. Convince me instead, make me want/need that sweet surrender

first week back at work is going.. okay?

things are weird and there's a bunch of stuff broken and pretty much the entire test department is apathetic about meeting quotas, so it feels like a waste of days

trying not to tear up at how accepting people have been with.. just. everything, over the last few months

i've felt like some kind of freak every time i arrive at a conclusion and the company i keep continues proving i don't have anything to fear from them

made a diagram illustrating the relationship between Janine and Dawn

there's no defined split, just a bit of blurring at the edges basically

got a shirt with the Rochester emblem to commemorate one of the best weeks of my life. wish we'd had more time together 💜💛

what i'm saying is,

please shotgun me, tie me to the bed, and use me like a toy

i'm incredibly blazed and badly in need of being bound

featuring Jupiter, Saturn, and some clouds.

and another! sadly I don't think the stacked images are worth doing much with due to clouds. maybe I'll play with them later.

I'll try to process some of the raw frames I took today or tomorrow. 💜💛

here's a single-frame photo from that night!

18mm focal length, f/3.5, 15 seconds at ISO6400+1.0EV.

spending a night in Cherry Springs, PA! we got a spot in the overnight astronomy field, and will be sleeping in the car once we're done gazing and taking photos 💜

i'm especially wary about this after the thing that happened last month

i don't wanna lose more people i like over intangible bullshit and minced words

and i'm at the point where it's like.. some of the discussion i've overseen makes me outright angry and idk how to process that, either???

it's like.. idk

i feel like my beliefs are another form of knowledge, like a toolset that can be used to better my life

some peoples' appear to be things they allow to control them and negatively impact them and i cannot comprehend that? and it feels like simply stating that is disrespectful to them??

i don't know how to exist around these sort of discussions let alone be in one

how do you respect someone's literal-sounding belief in beings that you believe don't literally exist

i honestly don't know how to navigate those kinds of clashes

so.. I don't know if this is permanent but:

I'm plural, and Dawnrose is actually a headmate. we had a long talk on the drive to Rochester a few days ago.

we think she formed partly from the stress of this year. shi's basically me, but lower-energy, less anxious, and more assertive, and is more likely to be in front when I'm high.

we're median, and I'm still "me", just there may be face and tone switches and the occasional "we" now

when applicable,
🦇 or 🌺 = Janine
🐈 or 🌹 = Dawnrose

💜🧡

i have an announcement

i'm gay

I was incredibly nervous prior to like an hour ago, about the potential for complications, but Delaware just got removed from the NY travel advisory list

plus there's still a two week buffer before I have to return to work

Excited

going to Rochester tomorrow to spend three days in a hotel room relaxing and being incredibly gay with someone before they move outside of driving distance

hoping the change of scenery does me a lot of good