I do want to lose weight soon for a few reasons, but definitely for less fatphobic reasons why I wanted to in the past imo.
basically all my excess weight is in the gut, which destroys my gender presentation. additionally, it pulls my shoulders forward leading to slouching
it applies extra weight on my right leg, causing pressure on my sciatic nerve, which leads to headaches like this one
standing helps a lot, but if sitting wasn't basically just aggravating that nerve it'd be all more balanced
and ultimately I think that's why my balance has been off since the spring/summer in middle school when I broke my leg. weight had already been coming on, a broken leg decreased my exercise, and I think there was a growth spurt so it's all off kilter balance wise
these are all very reasonable reasons to consider losing weight or at least improving the strength of the muscles involved
much better than "I'm fat and no one will ever live me" that was the reigning reason before transition
this is a great example of how transition didn't fix some problems, but the ability to distance myself from self loathing it brought helped me better see and place those problems.
depression and the like are like unhelpful doctors who've decided their diagnosis in advance
why do I have such trouble getting work done?
"because you're a terrible person and you can't fix it and you shouldn't bother"
are you sure it's not something else?
"only a terrible person like yourself would ask that"
laid bare like that, it sounds ridiculous and like you should be able to go "fuck off", but as anyone who has dealt with these issues can tell you, it's not that easy. if it was just a case of will, we'd have done it already
yes obviously we'd never give that type of "advice" to friends or other people, but to the self loathing mind, we're the exception that needs to hear it
yes it has failed for decades to change our behavior but that's because we're not listening or trying hard enough, we'll say
consider this a reminder to take your meds and practice some self compassion
@chimerror Hard same. Good luck; that's been by far the hardest part of my transition.
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