Pinned toot
Pinned toot

Why was the car wash open while I was driving home from doing my food shopping? I've driven past it every week for the past few weeks on the same trip and it's been closed, but today it was open with a long queue of cars waiting to be washed.

Surely having your car washed at the car wash isn't an essential journey? I'm not aware of any rules having been relaxed.

I've only ever heard one pop song that mentions Eyam and it is this fairly apt little ditty

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Another day in 2020's answer to Eyam, aka "the world"

Has there ever been a publishing phenomenon more annoying from the reader's point of view than the Twitter Thread? Get a blog, for goodness sake.

We can even follow your blog like we can your Tweets, through this magical new technology, RSS.

Sadly no photograph, it went straight into the bin and I came straight back inside to wash my hands given the current health situation

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Weird thing of the day: I went outside, and noticed a piece of litter had attached itself to the front of my car that hasn't moved for a week.

I picked it up to put it in the bin and noticed that it was a large carrier bag from a shop called GIFT LAND with an address in a mall in Dubai. One side had English, the other side the same stuff in Arabic.

How does a carrier bag from Dubai find its way onto my driveway in Yorkshire in the middle of a country-wide lockdown?

Coronavirus (sorry) 

I notice today that they're mooting the idea that a "small army of people" will need to be hired to run a contact tracing system for Covid 19.

A large number of temporary staff, for a project to gather large amounts of information about the general public? Weren't we about to have a census in 2021? Why don't we hire the people who would have been doing the census and set them on contact tracing instead?

Coronavirus, stay at home 

I'm kind of tired of the happy-clappy bullshit around the lockdown and the distancing measures. They're nothing to celebrate, they're an unprecedented limit on our civil liberties, they're miserable and lonely for an awful lot of people, and worse for some people. One friend has been sectioned under the new easier rules, for instance.

So I'm not clapping and cheering and celebrating, I'm sticking to the rules and telling it like it is, it's shit but necessary.

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Coronavirus, stay at home 

I've had to tell a friend today that they were a total dick for going on a Grindr hookup last week.

The lockdown is fucking shite, I hate it more than I've ever hated anything. But what I hate more is the fact that the more selfish fuckwits go out and do that kind of thing, the longer it'll be before the rest of us get to see our family and friends again.

Put up with it, stay at home, it's shite but it's necessary for the greater good.


The latest I've seen in the Guardian says "here are some academic articles written by actual experts at places like Oxford University saying that things are better than they might have been at this point and we can be cautiously optimistic" swiftly followed by "but here's me telling you why those people are all wrong and we're all doomed for years".

How do these people drive to the shops without taking a detour to Beachy Head?

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"Dr Doom Galaxy Brain" is a genre of newspaper article that I wish would get in the sea. It always goes exactly the same: "here's some good news you might have read elsewhere in the paper, and now here's me to tell you why you're a moron for feeling faint glimmers of optimism and that you're all fucked for years to come".

We had it in the financial crisis, we had it during the Brexit farrago, and now we've got the exact same articles being written about the current situation. Piss off.

On the radio earlier: "That was Oasis. You knew that, of course, but they're still paying me so I've still got to tell you what the songs are."

Radio news we missed.

At the start of April, two licences were issued to new radio stations in Scarborough. The licences were awarded to:

- Scarborough Radio Ltd
- Radio Scarborough Ltd

This has all the makings of the Judean People's Front about it.

Genuine question: why are celebrities making a big deal about raising money for the NHS? Isn't that called "paying tax"?

For me, I have to start thinking what I do instead of university. Even if the lockdown ends, if my university course is online-only for a year or more, that takes away an awful lot of the reason I go to university in the first place.

I have to ask myself questions as to whether I can justify the fees for an online course, and what impact doing an online course full-time and not actually having anywhere to go will have on my health.

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So watch the websites of Abertay and Aberystwyth universities next(!)

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Aberdeen University is the first to admit that they're unlikely to be getting back to normal in September:

Expect a tidal wave of similar announcements now that one university have been the first to stick their head above the parapet. Perhaps they're going for it in alphabetical order.

I've had to turn off "Race Across the World" on TV. I turned it off last week, and gave it another go this week, but I had to turn off again after 20 minutes.

The last series was excellent, but this one is dreadful. It's all about the teams falling out - they've deliberately picked a bunch of mard arses who are going to bicker for thousands of miles across Latin America.

Still, I suppose it's the last we'll see of this particular format. It won't be back next year!

Coronavirus, urban planning 

Make this change permanent, not just "for the duration of the pandemic". There's no place for huge numbers of non-essential cars on the streets of London and there hasn't been for some years now.

The local council have sent me a letter saying that according to their records, I live on my own, so here are the contact details of local volunteers who can help me fetch my shopping.

Fetching my own shopping is literally the most exciting thing in my week right now, please don't take that away from me.

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