🥛🚫 Dairy-Free Thot 🚫🥛 @Crowley@beach.city

I want to play Spyro but also want to lay in bed and pass away

if you're asked to pick up a cake fuckin pick up a cake lol

like why she felt the need to go above and beyond what was requested is lost on me

almost home

brain

fried 🍳

aggrieved bc the shelter closes at the same time i get back to town 😭

another thing

you'd think

by now

i would remember

to bring a FUCKING PEN FOR THE CUSTOMS FORM

and yet

and yet

I stg I ask this every time I fly but THERE WILL NEVER BE AN ANSWER

What is with the bizarre urge humans have to lunge the fuck into the aisle as soon as the plane stops moving?

We can't go anywhere til they open the door anyway

🛬🍁

also idk if this is all body scanners (i assume so) but

they only have 2 options for people

one is blue
one is pink

i am not joking

TSA at LAX gendered me correctly 🥳

This resulted in the privilege of being patted down by a dude instead of a lady 🤷🏻‍♂️

so @bookingcom@twitter.com, how do I go about getting my money back when I prepaid for a hotel but there was no staff there to check me in? I had to stay elsewhere through zero fault if my own; we waited almost an hour at 2 am before leaving

I ain't payin for this experience

on plane 🥳🛫

tiny people next to me 🤸‍♂️

Boarding soon ⏱👀🤸‍♂️

Omay so I arrived at my gate but left my wallet in @AvianMaverick@twitter.com's car bc ofc

I'm up

Hour 27455: finally leaving for LA

Talking abt monsterfucking and @Tea_boner@twitter.com and I agree that 1998 Godzilla is the most fuckable kaiju

"So do you have like, any insects up in Canada?"

-@AvianMaverick@twitter.com

Me:

The Californians found snow

@AvianMaverick@twitter.com @Tea_boner@twitter.com

I'm gonna boot this screaming toddler down the fucking mountain out of sheer anxiety trigger 🙃